it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
