Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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