Sponge bath it is.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
he puts the penis in happiness.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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