sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
