thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
