I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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