On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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