I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
