I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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