can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
