Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
