Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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