using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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