Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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