He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
