that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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