i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
