i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
