Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Randomize
