so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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