on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
