these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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