im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
