he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
