he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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