My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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