I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
