Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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