y did u give ur computer a hand job?
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
