I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Brb crying the tears of my youth
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
