Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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