That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
