i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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