you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Randomize
