I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
