I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
