and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
