I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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