He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
