Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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