Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I wish life had little blips of pornography
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
