At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
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