omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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