he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
