So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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