I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
