I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Congratulations! We have a period
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
