you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Randomize
