i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
