This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
