you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I need a burrito and a hug.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Sorry about my life...
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Randomize
